this day.

I was already eight days overdue, so this day, one year ago, started like those before it had, but by the time it ended, my world had been turned upside down, and you were gone.

This past year has looked absolutely nothing like I thought it would. Many more hours and days of it were spent in tears than any other year of my life. But many, many more days were spent overwhelmed by the sheer presence of Christ and the beauty of his hands and feet at work in and through his body.

You were greatly anticipated, longed for, and loved years before you were born. I dreamt dreams and had visions and hopes of all you would do and accomplish and be. And on that day, this day, one year ago, those dreams died.

But with the death of those dreams, with your ashes, arose beauty, hope, love, and even joy, like I had never before witnessed. Your pappa and I were instantly enveloped in the largest blanket of love and prayer, prayer that carried us through the darkest days and love that constantly reminded us of God’s great love for us, even in death. One of my favourite verses in the Bible says that “weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning” (Psalm 30.5b). And it did. Even in the darkness, the Lord came to us with whispers of hope, whispers of healing, whispers of love. Josiah. God heals.

And just days short of your first birthday, your precious little brother arrived, full of spunk, warmth, and hilarious facial expressions, bringing with him love, joy, and the healing that God had promised when you left us far too soon.

The testimony of God’s great grace, love, healing, and hope has spread around the world and continues to do so as we hear of countless strangers, friends and loved ones who have carried us in prayer and prayed for the health and life of your little brother, Josiah Gideon. Because of you, people have learned that God IS in the storm, that his love IS never-ending and full of healing power, and that he ALWAYS keeps his promises. Joy DOES come in the morning.

This is your legacy, Levi Gideon, a legacy that your little brother has already begun to carry in your memory and honour. We promise that he will grow up knowing all about his big brother, and he, like you, will be a warrior (meaning of Gideon) for the Kingdom of God, fighting on behalf of God’s people, that they may know of his life and his love.